Members
- Mr. Scallion (Father)
- Mrs.Scallion (Mother)
- Waitress (Aunt)
- Troy Scallion (Son)
- Kurt Scallion (Son)
- Charles Scallion (Son)
- Scallion Guys (Brothers)
- Kitchen Remodel Manager (Brother)
- Piano Scallion (Brother)
- Charlie Pincher (Uncle)
- Tom Scallion (Brother)
- Drummer Scallion (Brother)
- Eloise (Princess Sister)
- Eddie Scallion
- Barry Scallion
- Frank Scallion
- The Banker (Uncle)
- Grandpa Scallion (Grandpa)
- Larry Scallion (Brother)
- American Scallions (Brothers)
- Jerky Vendor/Laundry Man (Brother)
- Salesmans (Brothers)
- Englishman (Father)
- Scallion Mom (Mother)
- Unnamed Orphan Onion Boy
- Ninja Scallion
Members of Scallions
- Grandpa George
- Unnamed Scallion Men
- Onion Boy
- Wisemens
- Unnamed Scallion Men 2
- Unnamed Scallion 3
- Cedric Scallion
- Derek Scallion
- Mike Regan Scallion
- The Scallions